Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf

Official quest description: Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf is part 2 in the Rise of the Red Axe series, focusing on the dwarves and their capital city of Keldagrim. After the events in The Giant Dwarf, the Red Axe mining company has departed the city and set up a new headquarters in a remote underground location.
Veldaban, the Commander of the Black Guard in Keldagrim, wants you to investigate the case and find out if the Red Axe is planning anything nefarious. The problem is, the only lead he's got is an extremely drunken and kebab obsessed dwarf.
Use your farming and brewing abilities to your advantage, then prepare to be perplexed by puzzles as you follow the trail to the Red Axe...
Release date: 26 July 2005
Start: Talk to Commander Veldaban in the Black Guard headquarters in Keldagrim.
Difficulty: *****
Length: Long
Members only: Yes
Requirements:
Completion of The Giant Dwarf quest
Completion of the Fishing Contest quest
Level 22 Cooking
Level 17 Farming
Items needed:
About 400 coins
2 barley malt
2 buckets of water
A pot (obtainable during the quest)
A spade
A seed dibber
A rake (obtainable during the quest).
(Optional)Ring of Charos (a) reduces the cost of mine carts by half.
Monsters to kill: None
Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.
edit Walkthrough
After watching a Keldagrim cutscene (live players and NPCs are visible), you'll go to the Drunken Dwarf's house (he's related to the random event dwarf). He will ask you for some of the good stuff. Buy him a beer from one of the two local pubs. He will want some of the really good stuff: Kelda brew.
[edit] Getting the Information
You need to get four Kelda seeds to grow the hops to brew it.
[edit] Seed 1
Meet the drunken dwarf in the north east of Keldagrim, he is in the house north east of the kebab shop, and north west of the pickaxe shop. The Drunken Dwarf should give it to you after the conversation.
[edit] Seed 2
Outside the Laughing Miner pub on the east side, you should see a Rowdy Dwarf. He will ask you for a random item.
Random items include:
An Amulet mould - Al-Kharid Crafting Store, East of the Duelling Arena.
An acne potion - Varrock apothecary. Ask him for a handout after asking about gossip.
An Anchovy pizza - Bought from other players, or made with cooking.
Ashes - Burn any log and collect the ashes.
A banana - Found in Karamja Plantation, use a glory teleport. Or use the bones to banana spell
Bat bones - Found in various locations. Ex: South of Seer's Village.
Broken glass - Found North of Laughing miner pub where you talk to Drunken Dwarf
A burnt chicken - Possible to burn a cooked chicken.
A cabbage - Found Northwest of Draynor Village. If you have Explorer's ring 3 you can teleport to the cabbage patch.
An eye patch - Any crewmember. (Docks where you charter ships).
A fake beard - Bought from Ali Morrisane, South of the Duelling Arena in Al-Kharid.
A flier - Bought from Ali, North of the Mining Chasm in Al-Kharid
A pink skirt - Bought from Varrock Clothes shop. (Thessilia)
A potato - Can be picked north of Cow Field near Lumbridge.
A red cape - Switch for convenience, they are dropped by highwaymen.
Some studded chaps - Made with the Crafting skill or bought from other players.
A toy horsey - Bought from Diango in Draynor Market.
Vampire dust - Vampires are found in Morytania forest, west from Canifis.
A Spinning plate - Bought from Diango in Draynor Market
A bucket of "camel poo" - Switch for convenience. (Or use a Camulet and a bucket and ask a camel for it's dung in Al-Kharid.)
A King worm - Obtained in the North part of Tree Gnome Stronghold.
Swamp Tar - Obtained in Lumbridge Swamps or Morytania, the latter not recommended.
A White apron - Port Sarim Fishing shop
[edit] Seed 3
Go to the west side and talk to Gauss. He is in the pub south of the bank. He will ask you to do a toast with him. Buy a beer and talk to him again to get the seed. If you watch your inventory you can quit the conversation after he gives you the seed, but before you drink the beer. However you will need an empty beer glass later, so bottoms up!
[edit] Seed 4
Go to the carts on the southeast side of town, buy a ticket to White Wolf Mountain. In the pub in the underground shortcut talk to Khorvak, a dwarven engineer. Take a dwarven stout off the table. Give it to Khorvak to get the seed - or just talk him out of the seed.
[edit] Growing the Hops
Once you have all four seeds, go to the hops farming plot on the west side of Keldagrim. Ask the gardener for permission to plant kelda hops there, then go south and take the rake. Weed the garden, plant the hops, and wait 20 minutes.
NOTE: The hops will grow even while logged out. "The soil in this patch is very rich - it doesn't need compost." It doesn't need watering either. Also, you can't pay the local gardener to tend this patch.
If you need something to pass the time, you can talk to the gardener to get a letter. Take it to the gardener at the allotment south of Falador(you can use the cabbage port from the Explorer's ring from lumbridge achievements then go north), then go back to Keldagrim to get two herb seeds. When you're done, pick the Kelda hops.
[edit] Making the Kelda Brew

Fermenting vat before Kelda Stout has fermented

Fermenting vat after Kelda Stout has fermented
Go upstairs in the bar on the east side of Keldagrim (The Laughing Miner). Use two buckets of water on the vat, then add two barley malt, and then the hops. Pick up the empty pot in the corner of the room and ask Blandebir to fill it up with ale yeast for 25gp. Use this on the vat, then wait 10 minutes (you don't have to be online, but you'll get a notification when the ale is ready saying: "Perhaps I should have a look and see if my Kelda brew has brewed..."). The colour of the liquid in the vat will change from the darker blue shown in the picture to the right to a lighter blue when it is close to being done. Turn the valve and use a beer glass on the barrel. Give this to the Drunken Dwarf to learn about the boarded up tunnel that leads to the Red Axe Base.
[edit] Investigating Red Axe Base
Talk to the Conductor in the southeast end of town near that tunnel. Then talk to the director of the Consortium mining company that you joined during the Giant Dwarf quest. He/she will have the boards removed. Ride the cart that goes into the new tunnel.
To go to the next room, you first have to complete a cart related puzzle. To complete the puzzle, you must collect stones and set them in the dwarven machinery such that you can travel to either the blue marks or the red cross. This controls the path the cart will take. Your goal is to set up a connection between the red square all the way on the left and the blue boxes that are to the right. The red X is your final destination to take you to the next room.
To place/rotate a stone in a junction click once for green, twice for yellow, third time to remove the stone - assuming you have both colours available.
NOTE:if you log out at anytime while in the cave you will be transported out of the cave when you log in, although you will be transported to where you left off when you enter the cave.

[edit] Room 1
Search the box to get two square stones. Then operate the controls and place the yellow stone on the farthest spot to the left and the green stone one spot below that. Note: you may need to rotate the blocks in the controls to make the track connect properly.


Then take the cart, search the box (you should now have 2 green & 1 yellow Square stones), and go back.
Put a green stone on the far left spot, another green one spot above that, and a yellow stone at the top. Note: you may need to rotate the blocks in the controls to make the track connect properly.
Ride the cart again, search the box (you should now have 2 green & 2 yellow Square stones), and return.
At the controls, put a yellow at the far left, another yellow one spot below that, a green one spot below that, and another green to the upper right. Note: you may need to rotate the blocks in the controls to make the track connect properly.
Ride the cart to reach the second room.
[edit] Room 2
You will be able to eavesdrop on a conversation between the Red Axe Director, Ogre Shaman, and a henchman. You will learn that the company bribed the boatman into crashing into the statue so that they could blame it on a human in the Giant Dwarf quest. Crawl through the hole at the opposite end of the room from where you entered.


[edit] Room 3
You'll be in another mine cart room, so search the box and put the green stone on the far left, a yellow one above it, and another yellow one to the right.
Ride the cart, search the box, and ride back.
Put a yellow stone at the far left, another yellow one spot below that, a green one below that, and another green to the right.
Ride the cart, search the box, and ride back.
Put a green stone on the far left, another green one spot above that, a yellow one spot above that, a green to the right and below, and a yellow to the right.
Ride the cart to the fourth room.
[edit] Room 4
Search and read everything to learn more about the Red Axe company and their plot. Then enter the next cave.
Search the 3 crates with white papers on top - one contains uninteresting papers, and two contain important letters to read. In the bookshelf you find - Red Axe Employee Records.
[edit] Room 5

Final setup
You'll be in the final minecart room, so search the box and operate the controls again.
Put a green stone on the far left, a green stone one above that, a yellow stone one above that, and a yellow one to the right.
Ride, search, and ride back.
Put a yellow stone on the far left, another yellow one below that, another yellow one below that, a green to the right, a green above that, and another green above that.
Ride, search, and ride back.
Then put a green stone on the far left, another green one above that, a yellow one above that, a green to the right of that, a yellow above, a green below, a yellow above, then a yellow below.
Ride to the sixth and final room.
[edit] Room 6

Forgetting everything.
This is the final room. The Red Axe will show off his army of Chaos Dwarves, but before you can report to the Black Guard, the shaman will put a curse on you causing you to forget it all.
[edit] The Ending
Go back to Commander Veldaban. You won't remember any of what had happened, but your instincts will tell you to go to the Laughing Miner pub and have a beer and kebab. Buy a kebab from Kjut, the store on the east side (immediately southwest of the Drunken Dwarf's home) and a beer from the pub to the south. Once you're inside, drink the beer and eat the kebab to begin a humorous cutscene. You will get drunk and tell a nonsensical story to a bunch of drunken dwarves (including the random event one). (You will also fall off your stool.)